‘Twas the Stomach Flu Before Christmas

This is my entry for Susanna Leonard Hill’s annual holiday writing contest.  Cross your fingers for me!

’Twas the Stomach Flu Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Every creature was puking, yes, even a mouse.
The stockings we’d hung by the chimney with care,
We used now to wipe all the sweat from our hair.

The children leaned over the sides of their beds,
While hot dogs and sugar-plums gushed from their heads.
And mamma with her ‘kerchief, and I with my cap,
Had just wiped our mouths and were trying to nap.

When out in the street there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed and slipped right in the splatter.
I crawled to the window, head bruised from a  gash,
Tore open the curtains and threw up with a splash.

My vomit upon all the new-fallen snow
Looked just like a painting by artist Van Gogh.
When, what to my feverish eyes should appear,
But an old fashioned sleigh and eight flying reindeer.

And though I was feeling so dreadfully sick,
I knew through the nausea it must be St Nick.
With twisting and loop de loops, nearer they came,
It made me all woozy- I retched, feeling lame!

And then- oh, the pounding!- I heard on the roof
The thumping and banging of each noisy hoof.
As I drew in my head, vision spinning around,
Down the chimney St Nicholas came with a bound.

He took one look around, and he called for his elf,
And he gagged when he smelled me, in spite of himself!
A wink of his eye and the elves zoomed ahead,
They mopped up the mess and they made every bed.

They kissed all the kids, and when done with their work,
Our stomachs stopped churning, the room ceased to jerk.
Our home smelled as sweet as a newly picked rose!
St. Nick breathed a sigh, and uncovered his nose.

He sprang to his sleigh, to his elves gave a whistle,
And away they all flew, they shot off like a missile.
But before he was gone, I called out with my might,
“Happy Christmas to all, now we’ll have a good night!”


To find out more about the contest and other great children’s literature stuff, visit Susanna Leonard Hill’s blog.


About childrensbooksonadime

I am mother to three spectacular daughters and wife to an amazing husband who is a disabled Army veteran. As a military wife for 7 years, I enjoyed traveling the world, and now that we are civilians again, I am excited to see where life will take us as my husband gets his MA and begins a new career. I love to read with my girls and on my own, sing, play & teach piano, and write children's stories. My blog is reviews of children's books I can find for under dollar and my goal is to start posting my own stories as soon as I get 100 followers. They're pretty great, so you should help me along by following. My dream is to see one of my stories published in a large and lovely picture book that will inspire the hearts and minds of the rising generation.
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29 Responses to ‘Twas the Stomach Flu Before Christmas

  1. Hahaha!!! That poor family…but oh so funny! Gagging inspire of himself – that still makes me giggle. 😉

  2. Keila says:

    Now that was funny!

  3. Eh, gross, but very, very funny!

  4. Very cleverly written. And I’d like some of those elves to come to my house and clean, too!

  5. Such a sickening, gaggingly, hysterical tale, Kathryn. I’m warped so, of course, I loved it! Happy Holidays! :0)

  6. cherylsec says:

    Oh, that poor family. I’m so glad it had a happy ending. 🙂 Great job, Kathryn!

  7. Anne says:

    This is fabulous!!!

  8. Yvonne Mes says:

    Oh, I feel queasy, but the story was fun!

  9. Carrie Finison says:

    Now that was a true Christmas miracle! You did a great job with this story.

  10. jackiewellington21 says:

    Thanks for the visual…Now I need Santa and his elves to come to my house. This was clever. Thanks for sharing. 😀

  11. Thank goodness for Santa’s clean up crew! Your rhymed verse is outstanding and you have a great sense of humor, but remind me never to come to your house during flu season. 😉

  12. Anne Bielby says:

    Made me laugh! I can see many future generations reciting this version.

    • Thanks, Anne! Isn’t that just what we need, hundreds of kids running around the house, reciting my story, pretending to spew in every nook and cranny they can find. Lovely. I can just imagine the talent show skits, too. 🙂

  13. Bet kids would love hearing this, thoughmaybe not while still suffering! Hope you’ll soon achieve your goals and stay healthy over the holidays!

  14. Juliana Lee says:

    OK, that was too real! I was starting to gag! Thank goodness Santa was able to clean it up and leave everyone with the gift of good health!

  15. Linda Boyden says:

    Cute and a very original take on the subject! And you know, a true one, too, the stinky flu bugs that are flying around.

  16. Joanne Sher says:

    So very cute, clever, and out of the box!

  17. Oh my goodness! The poor family! But so cleverly written, Kathryn! I’m so glad they all ended up feeling better in time for Christmas! Thanks so much for joining in the holiday fun!

  18. Thank you, Kathryn, for a whole new – and hilariously unique – look at ‘Twas the Night’. Great job, even though I am now feeling somewhat queasy.:)

  19. Oh my! Poor family! I’m glad Santa flew in and saved the night! Funny entry!

  20. clarbojahn says:

    Great Scott! the whole family ill? Good thing Santa knew what to do!
    Merry Christmas! 🙂

  21. Wendy says:

    I hope this is fiction! I’ve had one sick at Christmas, but never the whole family. 🙂

  22. Oh, how awful! Only Santa’s magic could save Christmas for that poor, sick family! 🙂

  23. Cecilia says:

    certainly a different take on the usual night before christmas. I did laugh. thanks 🙂

  24. FUN – FUN – Funny! 😀

  25. Love the line: “I knew through the nausea…” Glad those elves cleaned everything up!

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